Just took a couple weeks off from the self-improvement to just survive life. Do you ever just have weeks where you are gasping for air as chores, to-do lists, kid activities and lack of sleep seem to try to drown you? During weeks like this I find myself looking at the clock every 10 minutes from 3:30 until Blake gets home. I usually call him around 4:45 and ask “when will you be home?” with the hopes that he will say, “I am getting off early today. See you in 10 minutes!” Of course I am just setting myself up for disappointment because he never says that. He usually says, “I should get home between 5:15 and 5:30.” I don’t know what happens to my kids, but around 5:00 they get very difficult. They start fighting each other or making a weird mess. The dinner starts to need my full attention around this same time and the baby wants to nurse. 5:20 rolls around and my cortisol levels are at a steady climb. At 5:30 I am usually nursing the baby, trying to stir the dinner and telling the dogs to stop barking in the yard. I keep thinking “Blake, please come home and save me!” Sometimes he does. Sometimes 6:00 hits and I am almost in tears. Usually something bad has happened like the dogs started licking the dinner, the 3 year-old had an accident or the 5 year-old just dumped a bunch of sand out of his shoe onto the clean floor. All of these things I can handle but for some reason when they happen during the time I expected Blake to be home it amplifies the severity of these problems. So this week’s habit is going to be a challenge to me. I am not going to count the minutes until Blake gets home. I am going to just ignore the clock and think more positively during that witching hour. Sometimes I think about how the wives or our service men are some type of superhero. They will be my inspiration this week.
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